


Help Me Through The Night

by shesbreathless



Series: schmico codas [19]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Soft Boys, i have no idea why there isn't a tag for just cuddling but ok, post 16x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:00:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22456120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shesbreathless/pseuds/shesbreathless
Summary: “How does this stuff just – happen?” Levi says after a while, voice barely above a whisper.Nico turns his head to the side, eyes going almost cross-eyed to attempt focusing on Levi’s face, and lets their foreheads press together.“I think we’ve seen enough messed up stuff to know that it just does,” he finally answers.
Relationships: Nico Kim/Levi Schmitt
Series: schmico codas [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1285922
Comments: 9
Kudos: 187





	Help Me Through The Night

Recovering is not an easy process. It’s painful, and bloody, and frustrating, and there’s no escaping it, which makes it feel like you’re stuck in a cage after a while. You want to feel better but you can’t, and it all leads to sleepless nights of quietly crying into your arm, so you don’t wake the people sleeping by your side.

It really, really sucks, basically. Levi knows that, because he’s had to tell patients countless times to take it easy, to let their bodies catch up with their heads, but it’s not as easy when you’re on the receiving end of it.

He’s doing fine, Dr. Altman said, but they still want to keep him for a couple more days to make sure that it doesn’t happen again. Also, as Dr. Grey put it, if he’s already in the hospital they don’t have to worry that he’ll sneak out to come back to work and accidentally hurt himself even more.

Levi pouts when everybody in the room chuckles, but he can’t argue about it. Both because he doesn’t have it in him, and because it’s absolutely true.

And so he lies on his bed and stares up at the ceiling, counting the number of steps the nurses have to take down the hallway before he can’t hear them anymore. It’s safe to say that he’s bored out of his mind.

He could use the time to read or study or catch up on some of the tv shows he’s been watching, but every time he tries his mind just wanders to the memory of dust and blood and screaming, and his heart rate picks up, not enough to make the machines he’s attached to go off, but enough to force him to stop, close his eyes and take a deep breath.

Visiting Taryn and Casey is out of the question as well, because they need serious rest, which kind of conflicts with Levi’s need for company. Also, seeing them in those conditions breaks Levi’s heart all over again every time, so it’s probably better that way.

Levi’s mum was called and told what happened, and she’d rushed over faster than Levi has ever seen her do. She checked every inch of Levi’s body with hands that shook so much that the nurse forced her to sit down, lest she decided to follow her son’s example and pass out as well.

Levi couldn’t find it in himself to blame her. He just wrapped the arm that ached the least around her and cried into her neck. She smelled of home and safety, and he allowed himself to get lost in it for a while.

Eventually visiting hours had come to an end and she had had to leave, only after Levi made her promise him that she would go back home and sleep without worrying too much. He’d wanted to stand up and show her that he was fine, but he was threatened to be tied down if he even tried.

Which, again, leaves Levi on his own, in his room, desperately waiting for something interesting to happen.

His phone is dead, its charger cord is still on the floor where it had fallen a few hours ago, and Levi is both too lazy and still feels too beaten up to even think about getting up. He could turn on the tv and aimlessly skim through the channels for hours, but that also holds no appeal.

There is a second in which the reality that he doesn’t really have many friends that could be here right now keeping him company hits him and makes his stomach clench painfully, but a knock echoes in the room before he can let it consume him.

“Hey.”

Levi looks away from that slightly darker spot on the ceiling he’d been staring at intensely and focuses on the backlit shape of Nico leaning against the doorjamb.

“Hi,” he smiles, stretching his arms out and propping himself up on his elbows as Nico comes closer.

“How are you feeling?” Nico asks, sitting on the side of the bed.

Levi does a mental checklist: heart, not fake-broken anymore; head, clearer now that the painkillers have stopped working; left ass cheek, still bruised from where he landed right on it when he fainted. All in all, he’s been worse.

“I’m bored, mostly,” he shrugs.

Nico nods and shuffles closer to the top of the bed, leaning on his hand planted on the other side of Levi’s legs. His head is tilted to the side and the neckline of his shirt gapes open just enough to let one side of his collarbone show.

“Come here,” Levi mumbles, making grabby hands at him.

Smiling like he knows exactly what he was going, Nico leans in and brushes their lips together. Levi makes a noise and frowns, fisting his hands in the front of his shirt and pulling him down so he can kiss him properly.

“Mh,” Nico hums. “You got the nurse to give you more Jell-O, uh?”

“Yep,” Levi grins. “Cherry.”

Nico chuckles breathlessly and kisses him again, softer, one hand coming up to cradle the side of Levi’s face. Levi gets a bit too into it and tries to bring him closer with a hand on the back of Nico’s neck, which causes an annoying and uncomfortable series of events.

The strength behind Levi’s pulling makes Nico lose his balance, so he quickly puts his hand down to avoid crushing Levi, but he lands on the wires attached to Levi’s arm.

“Fuck!” Levi yells, pushing him away and cradling his arm against his chest.

“Shit, shit, I’m so sorry,” Nico gasps as he scrambles to get away from him.

They sit at opposite ends of the bed as they both catch their breath, wide eyes and pained expressions on both of their faces. Then Levi starts laughing.

“Are you okay?” Nico asks, still looking bewildered.

Levi just slides down lower on the bed until his back hits the mattress. “Yes, I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? ‘Cause-“

“Nico,” Levi interrupts him. “It’s alright.”

He still doesn’t look convinced, but he must trust Levi enough to visibly deflate and bounce closer to him.

“Sorry,” Nico mumbles. “I’m just not used to having to be so… gentle.”

Levi scoffs despite himself, and Nico rolls his eyes and lightly slaps Levi’s knee. “Shut up.”

“Make me,” Levi immediately shoots back, smirking.

Nico bites his lower lip and squeezes Levi’s ankle over the blanket, looking down at it with a soft expression. Levi moves closer to the edge of the bed and pats the now empty space next to him. “Come back.”

“I don’t know,” Nico hesitates.

It’s Levi’s turn to roll his eyes, patting the bed again and with more force. “I promise there will be no funny business.”

Nico chuckles and nods, finally convinced. He kicks his shoes off and lies down next to Levi, both of them sharing the same pillow.

They let a few moments of silence stretch out, after which Levi turns his head to the side and focuses on Nico’s profile.

“How was your day?” he asks.

“Fine,” Nico shrugs. “I miss having all the residents around. It’s weird not having people trip over their own feet all the time.”

Levi laughs quietly. “I knew it.”

“What?”

“That you guys actually really love us.”

Nico lifts an eyebrow and smirks, but doesn’t comment. Levi smiles back with his lower lip caught between his teeth, eyes flickering all over Nico’s face, unable to decide on a single feature to focus on.

“How was yours?” Nico asks back.

Levi scoffs. “So boring. I missed tripping all over the hospital.”

Nico laughs and knocks their shoulders together, then doesn’t move away, so they’re pressed against each other on the bed that is definitely too small for the both of them. Levi sighs happily, enjoying the feeling of the air settling around them.

Suddenly, the smile fades from his lips, the corners turning down.

It’s somehow harder, now that the worst part is over. The ghost of that awful night hovers over Levi’s shoulders and makes them feel so heavy, residual anxiety still not completely cleared up.

He’s aware he got incredibly lucky in not getting hurt, and he knows it’s so bad of him to say, but he almost wishes he did get a least a good scratch to justify how bad he feels. Levi wiggles his arm around so he can grab Nico’s hand and weave their fingers together.

“How does this stuff just – happen?” he says after a while, voice barely above a whisper.

Nico turns his head to the side, eyes going almost cross-eyed to attempt focusing on Levi’s face, and lets their foreheads press together.

“I think we’ve seen enough messed up stuff to know that it just does,” he finally answers.

“Yeah, but it usually doesn’t happen… to you,” Levi sighs. “You think you’re exempt, for some reason. And then it does happen, and it’s…”

The words die in his throat, images and sounds briefly flashing through his mind and making his heart start racing.

Warm fingers gently press against his cheek, palm moulding to his jawline. Levi takes in a deep breath and lifts his own hand to grab Nico’s, keeping it close to his face.

“Everybody’s okay,” Nico says when Levi finally opens his eyes again.

“Kind of,” Levi mumbles, looking down.

Nico grabs his chin and guides his head up again. “They will be.”

Levi keeps up the act for a few seconds, then breaks under Nico’s gaze. He smiles and leans forward to rub the tips of their noses together, pulling away when Nico tries to catch his lips in a kiss.

He makes a complaining noise that only makes Levi smile wider, then tugs on the hair behind Levi’s ear.

“I love you,” Levi whispers.

“I love you too,” Nico answers without missing a beat. “Can I have a kiss as a proof of that?”

Levi frowns. “You need proof? Isn’t it enough for me to say it out loud? Be vulnerable and c-“

Nico shuts him up with a proper kiss, hands holding both sides of his face and body rolling so he’s lying half on top of him. Levi laughs against his lips but melts into his arms, letting the fight go in favour of something better.

Somehow the stained ceiling and the chilly air feel better when Nico is holding him like he never wants to let him go. Maybe everything will be fine, after all.

(Recovering isn’t just soft cuddles and quiet voices, though. Sometimes it’s waking up in the middle of the night with a gasp because you feel like you can’t breathe, smoke and blood caught in your throat, only to realize that it was just another bad nightmare.

Some other times it’s taking a walk around the hospital and seeing everybody busy with work, jealousy swirling around in your stomach because you feel like you’re wasting time being hurt, and you want to be the one with your hands inside a surgical site, but you can’t, because you’re recovering.

You feel good, like you’re ready to go back, but you don’t realize how much everything has affected you until Taryn gets wheeled into the O.R. for an emergency surgery and you want to know what’s going on, but they send Nico in to try and distract you, so you get even angrier and fight with him.

“I’m not made of crystal!” Levi yells.

“You’re still recovering,” Nico tries to explain.

Levi slams his hand against the wall and tries his best not to wince at how much it hurts, then stares Nico down for so long that he actually gives in and goes looking for somebody who can tell him how Taryn is doing.

Recovering is also seeing Casey slowly coming back to himself and feeling like you can breathe a bit better when ten minutes go by and he hasn’t asked if a bomb went off, then an hour, then a day, then never again.

It’s terrible but it’s necessary, and soon enough they’ll all be so busy with work that they won’t remember most of it. In the meantime, Levi takes things one moment at a time and doesn’t let himself forget that he’s lucky to have any of it at all.

Nico tells him he’s dumb for thinking he would ever go anywhere, and Levi shoots back that he could drop dead any second. Nico opens his mouth and then just closes it, no words coming out.

He just holds Levi a bit tighter and drops a lingering kiss on the side of his head.)

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea if this is any good or not, but I just had to write something about the episode and I was sad and tired and I just wanted MORE. So here it is I guess lol
> 
> Also did I get really lazy with the title? LISTEN... I hate titles. Like idk, it's just "cuddling hurt!levi soft sweet!nico ohmygodilovethem fic" while I'm writing it lol
> 
> If you liked this, let me know with a comment or hit me up on [Tumblr](https://shesbreathless.tumblr.com/)!


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